Welcome to my monthly newsletter. Small steps lead to big change. Why are small steps so important? When we begin a commitment to change, big leaps can feel overwhelming, creating paralysis, fear, and self-doubt. Patience is the gift we all crave - it is the gift of time; it is the ability to slow down and calmly face frustration and adversity.

The power of patience

I had to learn and develop patience. It did not come naturally or easily to me. When I was younger, I was the polar opposite of patient. I had little ability to be calm in the face of difficult situations. I would bulldoze through - being reactive and intensely emotional. Then it would sit with me for days. As I became more aware of patience, the value of it, and its immense importance, I began to actively and intentionally practice it. It was not long before I noticed big changes in my life; internally and externally. What do I mean by that? Internally, I felt steadier, softer, and calmer; no longer as anxious and reactive. Externally, I noticed people around me leaning in, feeling the calm energy I radiate, and responding to it.
Here is a video with Jon Kabat-Zinn talking about patience and mindfulness:

​

Patience takes time to cultivate. By definition, it is remaining calm and peaceful in the face of hardship or difficulty. It can also mean creating a pause and space, allowing time for processing rather than urgency. We live in a world that often demands the opposite of patience, and I often find people around me feeling the pressure and push of immediacy, urgency, and on-demand needs. Taking time to practice and to include patience in your everyday life is essential for balance.
​Why is patience so important to us?

• Lowers anxiety and stress
• Protects your body by lowering blood pressure
• Improves decision-making by slowing things down
• Increases listening skills and overall empathy
• Helps to manage reactivity, turning it into responsiveness
• Increases hope

How can you become more patient?

1. Identify what's within your control: oftentimes we try desperately to control others, situations, events, etc., that are not within our control, which increases our frustration, anxiety, stress, and an overall negative mindset. Take a step back and observe what is actually in your control; what you can and can't change. If it's helpful, write down a list.
2. Create small moments of discomfort: Discomfort is a human experience. Becoming more tolerant of discomfort can help you manage larger moments of change and become more adaptable. Try creating micro moments of discomfort and see how you feel and what happens. Here are a few examples of what you can do:
   a) Try letting someone go ahead of you in line at the store
   b) Purposely ignore your notifications on your phone for 2-3 minutes
   c) Ignore scratching an itch for one minute
3. Stay present and listen: Try a presence-and-listening exercise. The next time you are with someone, try putting your devices away - close your laptop, turn your phone off, take a deep breath, and focus on the person in front of you. See if you can be curious; ask questions that engage the conversation and allow you to seek to understand.

"Why is patience important?
Because it makes us pay attention."
Paul Coelho~

Mindful Resources

Something to watch: here are a few quick clips that embody the concept of patience.

​

Simon Sinek on patience

Something to read: I think this article is a great complement to this discussion on patience. It made me think about my own moments of impatience, my evolution in my practice, and the ongoing benefits I see as a result. Enjoy the read!​
​https://www.mindful.org/the-benefits-of-being-a-patient-person/​
​
Something new:
​I am excited to announce the launch of my Insight Timer profile:
​https://insighttimer.com/DoubleJ​
You are welcome to join me to access many new resources, like meditations and tools, that I will be adding monthly.

Reminder:
​Coming Wednesday, September 23rd.
Weekly at 7:15pm
Cost: $200 + optional workbook
​The launch of a new Mindful-Self-Compassion group therapy program.
​Why might this be for you?​
1. You find you are hard on yourself and want to learn more about being kind, caring, and supportive - this is self-compassion and self-kindness
2. Validation is hard for you, and you want to create more self-acceptance
3. You want to be able to manage difficult emotions with ease and comfort
4. You have an inner critic, and it's loud; you are not sure what to do with it or how to manage it
5. You want to learn more about difficult relationships, how to manage them and make decisions around them
6. Taking resources, like Mindfulness practices and integrating them into your day-to-day life, has been difficult in the past, and you want more structure to help you get benefits and value
7. You are interested in learning more about Mindful Self-Compassion; the theory and research, and how it can apply to you

Monthly Meditation

Enjoy this short patience-focused meditation. Allow yourself to let go of any impatience in your space for a few moments and find some peace and calm.

​

I appreciate you being here and taking the time to read and connect. I love to hear from you, so please feel free to reach out; let me know what you are enjoying, what you want more of, and what you want to learn about.

Warmest,

Jen James
RP (Qualifying), MACP
jenjames@doublejtherapy.com​
​