Welcome to my monthly newsletter. Small steps lead to big change. Why are small steps so important? When we begin a commitment to change, big leaps can feel overwhelming, creating paralysis, fear, and self-doubt. When we move forward with small steps, we begin to see clarity, momentum, and change. Join me in the conversation about change. All are welcome. Let's explore together.
How can new beginnings help get you unstuck?
Last month I wrote about the feeling of being stuck. I shared the emotions, sensations, and thoughts, including a common tendency to gravitate toward a want or longing to be a past version of ourselves or to return to a moment in our lives when things were easier, simpler, or more relaxed. We can become stuck in feelings like depression, anxiety, boredom, loneliness, grief, and more. Our emotions, while temporary, can feel consuming. We can also find ourselves trying to fix or solve a specific problem in our lives and instead find ourselves "spinning or spiralling" (words I often hear describing this moment) as we search for purpose, coping, and solutions.
Getting unstuck takes work, and the good news is we can all become unstuck. Research in psychology and neuroscience makes it clear that we can change, and one of the key ways to do this is regular exposure to new things. This is one of the ways to unlock neuroplasticity; the brain's process to grow and evolve, creating new ways of being, thinking, working etc. over our lifespan. Sometimes doing new things can feel cumbersome, daunting, and overwhelming. I often hear "I don't have time" and "I don't know where to start". These struggles are not to be diminished, and once you choose to change and push through the discomfort, the evolution and growth of your mind and path to a new beginning begins (Boyes, 2026). And yes, this means making time - which we do for many things every day- and figuring out how to get started.
In mindfulness, we discuss the value of approaching the opportunity of a new beginning with a beginner's mind. This concept means allowing ourselves to open to a new experience as if we were approaching it for the very first time. Sometimes it helps to imagine the first time you experienced it. How old were you? Perhaps you were a child. Children have a wonderful capacity for exploring things with imagination and curiosity, seeking to understand by asking questions rather than making assumptions. The beginner's mind is a Buddhist concept called shoshin, and it asks us to let go of our preconceived ideas, expectations, and judgments about the new opportunity in front of us and instead approach it with fresh eyes. Expect to feel things like confusion and wonder (Approaching Life With Beginner’s Mind - Zen Habits Website, n.d.). Using this concept, here are a few ways to approach something new in your life:
1. Open up vs. shutting down: it is common when you are starting something new to feel overwhelmed and, as a result, to hide or run away from the emotions, shutting down. There may be a lot of questions you have about the new feelings and experience. To explore, observe how you are feeling, be curious about the feelings, and try the opposite of what you normally do - opposite action. See if you can lean into the emotions and open up even just a little, asking questions and seeking to understand. Embody your childlike curiosity.
2. Document your journey as a beginner: it is easy to forget the journey, how we felt, and how far we've come. As part of your growth, learning, and connection to the awareness of your experiences as a beginner, try documenting a part of your new beginnings. This will give you reflection resources later that can support your growth. Find what works best for you: writing in a journal, using an emotion wheel, recording mini videos, or creating weekly reflection activities.
3. Remind yourself that learning is not new to you: you may be building something new, but learning is familiar. The journey of learning is one you have done before; you know that it takes time to learn something new, sometimes it works, and other times it does not. When it doesn't, it means picking yourself back up and trying again. This cycle can be applied to any context, including using your new beginner's mind to learn now. Keep in mind where you get stuck and see what you can do to support yourself proactively.
4. Access to resources and communities for beginners is abundant: whatever it is you have decided to do there are many resources available at your fingertips. While this can be frustrating at times, it can also be powerful. It also means there are communities of people like yourself who are looking to establish new skills and habits, and learn new ways of being. Being mindful in your approach to deciding which resources are useful, meaningful, relevant, and will add value is essential. Not everything is for everyone. It is necessary to be discerning and selective.
Taking a step forward toward discovering something new is a small step toward change. Doing that with curiosity and exploration, as if it were the first time, brings a new, heightened sense of joy to your experience.
Understanding Neuroplasticity In New Beginnings
It did not take me long to realize that my husband and I have differing passions for cleaning. My husband loves to clean; in fact, it's almost therapeutic for him. I could take it or leave it, and as a result, I do not prioritize it or plan it. We have very different approaches to this important task. After years of recognition and silent frustration, we both shared our angst and feelings about this process in our lives. I realized I had to change my approach, and I wanted to lean into the discomfort more, and here's what happened. My goal was simple: try not to leave dishes in the sink for too long (not a predetermined timeline) and do the dishes before bed each night. Before I could even make the shift in my old habit, my amygdala - that stress response, almond-shaped part of the brain that senses danger- was firing off, signalling resistance - this comes to me in the form of rationalized excuses. If I could tell you one thing about my excuses - they are really good and convincing. I took time to sit, label the resistance, and notice what I was feeling and thinking. Rather than ignore it, I accepted it and explored it with curiosity. The acceptance allowed me to move into the kitchen and grab my gloves to get started. This change was not an easy one for me, and it took me a while to get into a new routine. To this day, I still have days when I lean back into my old procrastination and find joy in it. I also recognize I'm human and it's okay - ACCEPTANCE.
Neuroplasticity is not the same for me now as it was when I was a young child, but it is still present. Noticing my emotions changed my brain's patterns. It takes one time, repeated practice, and like a nicely tended fertilized plant, it will grow. As Dr. Subramaniam mentions (Psychology Today, 2026), "Neuroplasticity may be slower in adulthood, but it's still alive, and it forces the adult brain to reroute, reconnect and revise." Now I will admit that I enjoy the dishes from time to time, and I recognize the value of doing them, of course. While I do not have the same passion for the task as my hubby, I have changed my routine and continue to find ways to make the moment meaningful and joyful. This challenge was a big one but absolutely worth the exploration.
"In the Beginner's mind there are many possibilities,
but in the expert's there are few."
Shunryu Suzuki~
Mindful Resources
Something to watch: enjoy this explanation of Beginner's Mind by Jon Kabat-Zinn:
Something to read: If you are interested in learning more about Beginner's Mind, here is a wonderful article from a website I enjoy connecting with: Lion's Roar: https://www.lionsroar.com/buddhism/beginners-mind/
Something new:
I am excited to announce the launch of my Insight Timer profile:
https://insighttimer.com/DoubleJ
You are welcome to join me to access many new resources like meditations and tools that I will be adding to monthly.
Reminder:
Coming this September after Labour Day weekend...
The launch of a new Mindful-Self-Compassion group therapy program.
Why might this be for you?
1. You find you are hard on yourself and want to learn more about being kind, caring, and supportive - this is self-compassion and self-kindness
2. Validation is hard for you, and you want to create more self-acceptance
3. You want to be able to manage difficult emotions with ease and comfort
4. You have an inner critic, and it's loud; you are not sure what to do with it or how to manage it
5. You want to learn more about difficult relationships, how to manage them and make decisions around them
6. Taking resources, like Mindfulness practices and integrating them into your day-to-day life, has been difficult in the past, and you want more structure to help you get benefits and value
7. You are interested in learning more about Mindful Self-Compassion; the theory and research, and how it can apply to you
Monthly Meditation
What happens if you approach this meditation with a beginner's mind? Pause as you begin your meditation. Notice any expectations you may have about your practice. Take a deep breath and see if you can let the expectations go for this practice today, in this moment. Ask yourself what it is like to approach this meditation as if it were your first meditation. What would that feel like? What thoughts might you have? What sensations might present?
I appreciate you being here and taking the time to read and connect. I love to hear from you, so please feel free to reach out; let me know what you are enjoying, what you want more of, and what you want to learn about.
Warmest,
Jen James
RP (Qualifying), MACP
jenjames@doublejtherapy.com
References
Boyes, Alice. 2026 (June). How to be a better beginner. Psychology Today.
Zen Habits Website. (n.d.). Approaching Life with Beginner’s Mind - https://zenhabits.net/beginner/
